Pronunciation: hyoo-MIL-uh-tee
Simple meaning
Humility means a right-sized view of oneself, without pretending to be more or less than the truth.
Today, people sometimes think humility means weakness, low self-worth, embarrassment, or letting other people walk over them. In Big Book study, humility is much more useful than that. It points toward honesty, teachability, and a willingness to live on a new basis.
Older meaning
Older dictionary definitions often describe humility as lowliness, modesty, meekness, or freedom from pride and arrogance.
That older meaning matters because humility is connected with being teachable and not ruled by self-importance. It does not mean self-hatred. It does not mean pretending to be worthless. It means being willing to see the truth about oneself and accept help.
Why this word matters
In Big Book reading, “humility” matters because alcoholism is often connected with self-will, pride, fear, control, resentment, and the need to be right.
Humility opens the door to a different way of living.
A person who is humble can begin to admit what is true. They can ask for help. They can listen. They can make amends. They can be useful without needing to be the center of everything.
Humility can also protect against two opposite dangers: thinking too highly of oneself and thinking so badly of oneself that growth seems impossible.
A right-sized view allows a person to keep learning.
Common misunderstanding
A common misunderstanding is to think humility means humiliation.
Humiliation usually involves shame, embarrassment, or being brought low in a painful way. Humility is different. It can involve honesty without self-destruction. It can involve admitting the truth without turning that truth into hopelessness.
Another misunderstanding is to think humility means having no confidence. In Big Book study, humility may actually make real confidence possible because the person is no longer trying to live by pride, image, or self-deception.
Helpful meeting handle
A common recovery idea is that humility means being “right-sized.”
That phrase can be a useful handle. It suggests that humility is not about being above others or below others. It is about being honest about one’s actual condition, limits, need for help, and usefulness.
But right-sized humility is not only an idea. It usually shows up in action: listening, admitting, praying, making amends, serving, and staying teachable.
Study note
This website works best with a copy of the Big Book in your hand. Look for the word “humility” in the first 164 pages and nearby discussion. Notice whether the surrounding passage is talking about honesty, pride, willingness, surrender, amends, usefulness, or a changed way of life.
Related words
honesty
willingness
amends
spiritual
selfishness